(1) It's a fanfare for the common dog: a nuzzly celebration of humanity and the deep, hopeless love of doggy-woggies that is written on Britain's heart in pet-friendly ink.
(2) But there is arguably nothing on either list to rival the yuck factor of one of last year's crop – the Doggie Doo , a plastic dog that poos out plasticine.
(3) Soon after comes the familiar sight of folk having doggy-style sex with cheerful hookers in rooms lit by candles: Game Of Thrones is back, rude, raw and handing Mad Men its arse in the ratings.
(4) Fast-forward a couple of grim decades held together by Xanax and gritted teeth, and Leslie is a screw on doggy death row, a supervisor at a full-to-bursting kennel in South LA.
(5) Some pre-match emails: "I have a feeling that little doggy's about to chew on some fenders, Mr. G," writes Byron Whitley from New York.
(6) The top 12 list in full Doggie Doo, John Adams, RRP £22.99 Fijit Friends, Mattel, RRP £54.99 Fireman Sam Pontypandy Rescue Set, Character, RRP £29.99 Kidizoom Twist, VTech, RRP £49.99 LeapPad Explorer, Leapfrog Toys, RRP £79.99 Lets Rock Elmo, Hasbro, RRP £69.99 Milky the Bunny, Flair, RRP £59.99 Monster High Lagoona's Hydration Station, Mattel, RRP £39.99 Moshling Tree House, Vivid, RRP £18.99 Nerf Vortex Nitron Blaster, Hasbro, RRP £44.99 Ninjago Fire Temple, Lego, RRP £91.99 Star Wars Ultimate Force Tech Lightsaber Assortment, Hasbro, RRP £39.99
(7) If there was a 50-year-old male director who was saying come in, take your clothes off, do a doggy-style sex scene, I would be the most annoying actress in the world.
(8) Between interviews with the likes of Marianne, who designs "high-end doggy fashions" for expressionless bichon frise Lily, there are wordless montages of activity on the heath, the theme of each being, roughly, "dog".
(9) The website is a curious affair – a sort of doggy dating site riddled with twee canine puns from “how to create a pawesome profile” to a section devoted to “waggy tales”.
(10) Try its big hit burrito ($12) or one of the doggy-themed scrambles: the Fetch (bacon and egg) or the Stay (with mushrooms, seasonal greens and roasted sweet potato (both $9.50).
(11) Although Doggie Doo, a plastic dog that poos out plasticine and recently made an appearance on the Jonathan Ross show, didn't make it on to the children's list it was clearly the star of the show at the media launch of the Dream Toys on Wednesday.
(12) When Louis returns later in the programme, Caspar has chomped up Nancy's leg and been despatched to doggy Broadmoor in the sky.
(13) Freddie, 11, and his friend Harry, nine, headed straight for Doggie Doo on arriving at the official preview.
(14) When I grew out of it, I forced my mum to separate the feet from the legs so I could keep wearing it, my tell-tale human ankles the only thing gradually distancing myself from my doggie identity.
(15) Facebook Twitter Pinterest Share Share this post Facebook Twitter Pinterest close Doggy style.
(16) "With his left paw, the cat's keeping the doggie in place, and the right one is ready to swing at the canine's face.
(17) Bone Doggie and the Hickory Street Hellraisers at the Denton Arts and Jazz festival.
(18) "Having taken a closer look at the cute cat and the funny doggie, the cat seems to be ready to take a swipe at the dog, and the dog looks fearful," opines Cecilia Marjakangas.
(19) Once it was a magazine so important that even Mrs Thatcher deigned to be interviewed for its pages, albeit disastrously: she announced her favourite record was not by Duran Duran or Madonna but Lita Roza’s 1953 novelty How Much is that Doggie in the Window?
(20) Tom took great delight in revealing that her favourite singer was Cliff Richard, whom she admired for being professional, and that her favourite record – on-message for the cost-conscious curator of an economic boom – was the fearful 1953 novelty hit (How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window?